Loss

“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” — Norman Cousins

The GRE Saga Continues

I haven’t read any good books lately. I’ve been too busy doing the sample math problems in Peterson’s GRE study guide and weeping.

Then, the other day, a light bulb came on. I got at least Bs in math in high school. I’m not completely obtuse (a type of angle) on this subject. I just forgot what I learned more than 30 years ago. Enough of the self-flagellation and doubling up on the Wellbutrin.

Time to pick myself up off the floor and look for math courses/tutoring. I had three possible options – Kaplan Learning Centers, sneaking into a brush-up class offered for MBA hopefuls that my institution pays for fully (I’m going for MPA and not invited to this party), or private tutoring. A fourth option – just reading a bunch of math books – did not seem like a viable option. This is the GRE. There’s a science to taking this test and doing well. There are people who know all about it.

So as soon as I get my boss to approve the college tuition reimbursement (I’m hoping a mere formality), I’m going to start being tutored by a nice-sounding guy named Jeff Miller. I have to pick up the tab on this myself. Could come to a couple thou….There goes my new flooring….Oh well, I’ve always valued knowledge more than anything – even flooring and I’m quite flooring obsessed. But I digress (sorry Jim Collins).

I found Jeff Miller by Googling Cleveland math tutors. Up popped his Craig’s List ad – first on the list. So the guy’s not only good at math, it would appear he knows something about SEO.

I sent him an e-mail, he wrote back and we spoke on the phone today. Jeff lives in New York. He sounds like he’s about 30-32 years old. He is co-partner in this tutoring business and he helps people all over the country who are trying to get a good GRE or GMAT math score.

We will work together 2 hours a week using Web X. I will have him all to myself. He’ll work at my pace, start from the very beginning, and make sure I understand everything before I move on. I really like the sounds of this guy. He said I will also have to read math books and work on problems on my own. Wow, it’ll be just like being in high school again – without the acne and the hickey.

I share all this – not because I harbor the illusion that anybody cares about the fine details of my life – but as inspiration for other people who read the stupid test book and decide to give up in despair. Maybe if I get through all of this alive my contribution to society would be to write a really comprehensive easy-to-understand GRE math prep book.

How did I ever graduate from high school?

I’m reading Peterson’s “Master the GRE”, a little light reading for a woman who already came home with a headache.

I’ve now read the explanation for how to solve Problem Solving sample question #4 ten times and I still can’t make sense of the explanation. Either the people who wrote this book have a really bad way of explaining math or I’ve forgotten everything I learned in high school level math. They are assuming everyone remembers certain key geometric and algebraic concepts. Wondering if there is a “Dummies” book explaining the GRE. If not maybe I can make a fortune writing one.

My husband is walking through the living room with an annoying hacking cough and I just snapped at him to go take something for it because he is getting on my nerves. Mrs. Compassion. I am just not used to thinking this hard. Be quiet!

In about 10 pages or so, after I read an overview of the easy language questions, I’m going to have to take the first sample test in this book. If the few sample math problems are illustrative of what I’m going to see when I take pencil to paper, I’m thinking a monkey in a blindfold might make a more educated guess than I could.

Skipping ahead, though, there seems to be chapters devoted to explaining how to reason out the math problems. I hope I get the explanations later in the book.

“Deep Play”

Rapture with a capital “R” is the ascension into Heaven that, according to Christian theology, will occur at the end of time.

That’s an awfully long time to wait for this ecstatic feeling of being carried away.

Fortunately, we have the ability as humans to transcend our everyday world, by engaging in what author Diane Ackerman defines as deep play.

Have you ever done anything that so fully absorbs you that you lose all track of time? You might have noticed that those vaunted experiences awaken your inner muse.

Ackerman, a poet and a naturalist, firmly believes in the concept of Carpe Diem. She finds awe in nature, in human history, art, science, love – and she shares that awe in a way that is most sublime.

This is not the kind of book with a plot line or premise that is easy to describe. It is ethereal, moving and replete with interesting facts that Ackerman has gathered, like mushrooms, through her life’s journey.

My New Age earthy friends would love it. Think Carl Sagan and you get the sense of wonder that Ackerman so deftly captures.

The Cat in the Hat

It’s Dr. Seuss’s birthday. Not really. We are just being silly to break up the monotony.

Books/sex/food…What more do we need?

I’m LMAO at this story I just read.

The headline grabbed me. “Books a Must Have – Even in A Sluggish Economy: Poll”. Aside from the unorthodox sentence construction, it is interesting to see that so many people (75%) said they would put buying books ahead of shopping, going out to eat, holidays, and going to movies. This seems to fly in the face of the commonly held belief that people don’t read anymore. Apparently, in this world of uncertainty we’re all looking for a leg up – and knowledge is power.

News flash, people, you don’t need to sacrifice to read. That’s why they made libraries. I’d rather read than go to a movie and I’d definitely rather read than shop. But I’d rather save my money and not have books crowding out my already snug living space.

Speaking of getting a leg up, right in the middle of this lofty news story, the story degenerates into our baser interests. Asked what tempts them most, men said sex. Women said food. You guys must be porking some real porkers! But seriously, books, sex, food, clothing, shelter – those are the basic needs, right?

Am I missing something?

How are those resolutions coming?

Somebody posed this question of Facebook at just about the same time I wanted to take inventory myself.

I think I’m doing OK. I had 4 resolutions.

1.) To seriously investigate obtaining a Master’s degree in something
2.) To consider restarting piano lessons if it is practical considering the time commitment for #1.
3.) To volunteer my time to helping the disadvantaged (even if in a modest way).
4.) To plan a vacation – either for my husband and I, or just myself if he can not get away.

I think the most daunting of all of these resolutions is item #1. I haven’t been to school for 26 years. I’ve not had the easiest time narrowing down what I would want to do. My problem is that I’m slightly interested in a lot of things. That’s why I chose journalism as my undergraduate degree. In a purist sense, I did that job for a dozen years before I moved along. All subsequent jobs have used my communications skills to various degrees.

But my employer offers an extremely generous tuition allowance. It would be enough to pay for the entire degree. How can I look that gift horse in the mouth, I think. Plus I have at least 20 more years to work. With the economy being so difficult, having additional education might be necessary from a survival standpoint. After many months of thinking about this, I think I’ve finally narrowed it down to a Master’s of Public Administration with a focus in Health Care Administration. An administrative type I’m not. I’m too creative to spend my day working on Excel documents and flow charts. That’s why I’m not going for the MBA. I’m figuring the MPA would allow me to gain some skills that would open more doors for me at the hospital where I work, should I decide to stay there. Health care is the hottest employer and it could be career suicide to leave. Plus, I love the spirit of the place where I work. The emphasis on continuous learning and innovation is very appealing and the other fringe benefits I get are pretty awesome too.

But I also like the MPA because it could help prepare me for a job in public service. I’m also the last person in the world who ever wanted to work in a government job. I don’t know that I ever would, but I’d like to have the education to put my political convictions into practice.

Then there is the idea that I don’t know what I don’t know. Who knows who I might meet in the course of this program who could inspire me in ways I haven’t imagined. I could use a few more positive influences in my life. Also, who knows what career door this Master’s or any Master’s might open. And even if it doesn’t, my only investment would have been my time. Since I love to read so much, I also have the philosophy that any learning is good learning.

Yesterday I took the day off and used part of the day to visit with a counselor at Cleveland State. I now know what I need to do to complete the admissions process, cost per credit hour etc. The scariest part is the idea of passing the GRE. The counselor told me this is the most common anxiety among all people considering the program and it is the mathematical/statistical part that can trip people up. I am certainly no math whiz. But even if you don’t do well on the GRE, the admissions office will consider your undergraduate GPA and letters of recommendation and, if they offset the GRE score, a student might still be admitted into a non-degree track. If the student gets at least a B in the initial core courses, he could then be admitted into the degree program. It would take at least 4 years to complete the degree going part time. That is not an insubstantial amount of time.

Next steps….Investigate the GRE….bone up on math most likely, investigate the MPA at Kent State, which might have more distance learning classes than CSU, which has none. I would prefer to go home and learn by computer for many of my classes than be driving back and forth to school after my long work days. So I’m moving along…I am not sure if I will have the proper mentality to get through the mathematical abstractions, but I won’t know for sure unless I give it my all and try.

#2. Piano lessons. As this hinges on figuring out #1, I’m not calling around in search of a teacher who I might need to dump later this year. Wouldn’t be fair, plus I think getting step one squared away will take a lot of my free time in the interim. However, I have dug out some of my favorite music books and have enjoyed playing for a few hours each week. At first I was surprised how much I forgot, but after sitting down and working at it for a while, I was surprised by how much I remembered. I would love to be very fluent in this language. It speaks to me like no other. (I have a violin too, but I can’t split myself that much).

#3. Volunteering. My church bulletin a couple of weeks ago had an item about volunteering for a food pantry/clothing site in Cleveland’s urban area. The time commitment is not great. I need to call the coordinator listed in the bulletin. Haven’t had time yet.

#4. Vacation. Have signed out some travel books. I have a current passport and have accrued enough PTO time to take a nice long vacation if I want. But my husband is having some work struggles and – even though I said I would go without him if necessary – I can’t find it in my heart to leave him in his time of need. I wouldn’t enjoy myself. But the item remains on the table, if things get better for him.

So not too shabby for the first month. Now to keep it going.

So how are you doing on yours?

Var kan jag köpa ett svenskt tangentbord?

Do you have any idea what I just said? Look closely. Any words jump out as looking a little familiar?

Kan, maybe? Var, maybe? Var kan= Where can

I’ve found a fun new way to use Facebook. I’m learning a little Swedish.

It all started a few weeks ago when I found an interesting blog by my new Swedish friend, Helena. Helena shares my appreciation for the music of Sir Edward Elgar and many of the other wonders of the world. This morning I read with interest on her blog a little piece about a Swedish hotel made all out of ice – how cool (or cold) is that?

After we became blogging buddies, we became Facebook pals as well. Helena can fortunately speak English very well, so we have a way to communicate. On Facebook, she writes to me in English and to her Swedish friends in Swedish. I’m getting a kick out reading her Swedish postings and trying to figure out what she is talking about before I copy and paste everything into a free Swedish to English translator.

The first time I tried this, it was rather hilarious. I was as far off the mark as can be. It strikes me with all the umlauts and stuff that Swedish may be closer to German than it is to French, which is the language I studied in school. I can still read a good bit of French and construct some sentences, but if you plopped me down in France, I’d most likely be lost.

“Vous parlez trop vit.” Say that about a thousand times and the French would surely sneer down their noses at me.

Anyhow, I decided recently that I might be able to learn Swedish by monitoring the conversations between Helena and her friends and using my translator until I can start seeing patterns, learning sentence construction, etc. I probably will also go looking for a French ami who will let me into his/her circle too.

I mentioned here before that some silly Facebook quiz said that I was secretly Swedish at heart. I don’t know how they come up with these things, but there may be some science behind it. Helena makes me want to keep searching for my higher self.

By the way, the question above means “Where can I buy a Swedish keyboard?”

Regaining equilibrium

Crazy woman! Who are you and what have you done with Donna?

How does it end? Loose Ends, Part Deux

I’m on a mission from God.

Being a sucker for romance who needs to get back in the treadmill habit, I borrowed the 2001 movie “Serendipity” from the library and set about watching it in exercise-sized chunks.

I was ready to consume the final chunk tonight. If you haven’t seen the movie, the romantic leading man and the romantic leading lady meet in Bloomingdale’s as they both grabbed for the same pair of gloves. Sparks flew, yadda, yadda. They’re both engaged to other people. The romantic leading lady is a huge believer in destiny. If they were destined to be together, they would end up together in the end. She writes her name and number on a book cover, he writes his on a $5 bill and they put these items into circulation. If somehow these items ended back up in their possession they would know they were destined to be together. That’s putting a ridiculous amount of faith in destiny, but I’ll go with it. It was just a MOVIE.

Blah, blah, blah. Time passes. They are both preparing for weddings to people who are kind of nice, but who don’t sweep them off their feet. With the impending nuptials drawing closer, they both start freaking out about how they might be missing out on a chance to live life with their soulmates and start taking steps to find each other – adding some momentum of their own behind the destiny thing. About time they got real. They only thought of each other CONSTANTLY. But it was just a MOVIE.

With just hours before his wedding, they both end up breaking it off with their fiances. But my stupid DVD started doing that skipping thing….Argh…It just froze up and I missed the entire tying up of the loose ends. It started up just in time for them to find each other and live happily ever after.

You’d think that would be enough for me. But nooooooo! Why did they break it off with their fiances? I missed that part. What reasons did they come up with? Did they just tell them the truth? Did another convenient reason come up? And who were the two semi-naked people that the leading man and his best man saw making out in the window when they flew cross-country to find the soulmate?

Argh. I hate loose ends. I’m appealing to my social media friends on Twitter/Facebook and my blogging buddies to help out. So far, I’m still waiting for my answer. Wouldn’t it be serendipitous if somebody stumbles onto one of my postings and can fill in the blanks? It would be – oh, I don’t know – cosmic or something.

Footnote: Oh, this is fun. Thanks to two great Facebook friends I’m getting closer to cracking this case. My friend, Robin, sent me a link to this website. I love Robin. She is my twin from different parents. She saw the movie years ago, but told me she can’t remember how they broke it off with their fiances, because she was too busy admiring Kate Beckinsale’s hair. (I hope she doesn’t mind me sharing that info. Heck, I was busy admiring Kate’s clothes .. but that’s another story). Thanks to Robin’s link I was able to find out that the semi-naked people were some stud and the leading lady’s housesitter, whom the male romantic lead mistook for his soulmate. But it all works out in the end. Also, I have another great friend, Bob. Bob tells me that if you just spray a little Windex on the DVD (be sure to wipe it off) you can fix the skipping problem….Who knew? That takes too much common sense, sometimes a quality missing from we charming hopeless romantics. I’m trying the Windex tonight.

This brings up the immense value of social networks. They can help fill in the blanks on these frivolous issues and more important issues as well. I’m trying to get my husband to do Facebook and Twitter for professional networking. I’m sure he’ll come around. I just need to sit him down and show him. I found a nice handyman on Facebook this week, too. A guy willing to come out just to fix a dripping bathroom faucet. I’d say that is a one-in-a-million guy. And I found him through Facebook!